Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
