I hate all girls vehemently.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
