Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
