she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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