Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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