"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
