I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
