Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
