he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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