if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
