Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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