just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
