oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
