Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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