So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
