i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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