you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
