i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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