i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
