Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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