Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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