Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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