i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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