You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize