Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
