About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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