It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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