Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
