Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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