If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
