This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's shark week go big or go home
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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