i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
