Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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