Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she smelled like a LAN party
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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