I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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