i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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