I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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