Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
