My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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