It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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