I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
