She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
