I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
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Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
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My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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