I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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