if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
