I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
vagina is talking i cant
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
