she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
