Apparently you make a good broom.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
