the condom got lost in my hair
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
