sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
