I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
