I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
