life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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