just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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