people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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