I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
