Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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