I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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