He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize