I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
