That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
