did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
